100% Random Facts…

I love neatly wrapping things in bubble wrap.

Slicing cucumber with a cheese slice is extremely satisfying.

Potato Waffles are best done in the toaster.

Talking while gargling is an occasional joy.

I clean my teeth in the shower.

My hair is called ‘John Malkovich’ hair if I comb it back; only shown to a select few.

I’ll cut you if you deny me toast.

I was once followed by a stranger and gave him £40, he offered me his gold teeth in an underpass. I regret not taking them. I think he had powers.

If I could go anywhere again it would be to an Onsen in Japan.

I ate lunch in Mexico city in 1996 with two best friends and two strangers; a Swedish aristocrat named Yarmo and a submarine pilot who’s name I forget. Ever thankful for that free lunch.

I should be less afraid of strangers and one day repay all my free lunches.

I’m terrified of flying and count repeatedly, but persist.

Nearly all my friends live in different countries.

Things should be neat and tidy. Nights should be late. Coffee early.

Ebay is a time sapping shit.

I used to skateboard everyday, now I cycle.

I studied Fine Art, I work with maps.

I have zero tattoos, but for zero reason.

Right now I am listening to the Fiery Furnaces.

This summer I will make things. Again. Finally. Hold me to it.

5ft 9.

Scottish.

Thirty six years of age.